“Mom she’s touching me.” “Give that back! Get out of my room” “She hit me!” “No!” “You can’t make me!” “Stop that! Get off of me!”
Have you ever felt like you’ve been marching around this wall called mom-hood for a VERY long time and that wall just won’t fall? You’ve done everything you can think of and nothing happens? Like everything you do, just bounces off the wall and back onto you?
I have…ALOT! Almost daily I feel like I’ve screwed up somehow; like I’m not cut out for this mom thing.
Wouldn’t it be nice to call a timeout on parenting? To say “Hold up, something isn’t right and I need to pause the game until I figure out a new plan.” I feel like the more days that go with unanswered ways of handling these moments, the closer I am to screwing my kids up.
Just today I think I’ve yelled at/punished my kids at least a dozen times. Avery is touching Nat, then Nat is hiding and scaring Avery. They’re taking each other’s toys, Avery having tantrums every 1/2 hour (O how I love the toddler tantrums), Natalie talking back and arguing about EVERYTHING (the teenage years are gonna be rough). The List goes on. The fighting, yelling and screams is constant with my kids right now. I don’t think we’ve gone one day without some sort of argument with our oldest in months. I’m the referee that needs to call the game. We’re in extra innings and this mama is tired. Will it ever end?
But then I end up here. It’s the end of the night; laying in my daughter’s bed, snuggling and listening to her softly breathing as she drifts to sleep. This brief moment in time, everything feels right. All my stress about how I’m parenting goes away for a small brief moment.
And I mean brief because then I find myself questioning myself as a parent. Did I handle this situation right? Did that one thing I wish I could take back, ruin my kid for ever? Why can’t I get them to stop fighting? What am I doing wrong?
Its just a phase. It has to get better right?!?
We all want what’s best for our kids. We want them to grow up being strong, kind, loving people that lean on God to guide them through this crazy journey. We want them to be considerate and have compassion, use their manners and show Gods love to others.
Instead, I feel like my kids spew jealousy, anger and hatred with just a pinch of kindness in there when they want something.
Now don’t get me wrong. My kids are good for the most part. But in this phase our house is in currently, the bad is overtaking the good. Someone should of told me having a toddler and teenager at the same time is like sticking dynamite in your house with no timer on when it will explode.
As I reflect on our current parenting journey and lament with God on what I’ve done wrong as a mom, God reminds me of Jericho’s wall and all the steps and hard work they had to do to get that wall to fall. Even though God told them when the walls would fall, I’m sure they doubted if they heard him right after their feet started to get tired and the weight of the armor started to get heavy on their shoulder. They probably had moments they wanted to give up, but God told them just a little bit longer.
That’s what God is telling us as parents, “Just a little bit longer”. I’m on that 5th time around the wall ready to quit but God’s asking me to Push a little bit further.
So how do we get through this phase?
- Stay Calm and ask yourself What would Jesus do.
Remember, it will get better. Even through all the arguing and fighting, they are listening to how you respond to the problem. So make sure you respond like Jesus would. I want my kids to be loving and kind people. How can I expect my kids to be that, if they see me yelling and not showing them the right way to handle the hard stuff? - Count to 10 before you respond.
This helps me to not lash out in anger when a problem arises. It helps me to gain my thoughts and ask God for help on how to respond to the situation. - Pray for breakthrough and lean on His guidance.
I pray daily for the knowledge to get me through this tough season. Praying about this situation, helps me to also gather my thoughts and sort through the things I’ve done wrong in the past so I can make a conscience effort to avoid those next time. - Don’t get defeated.
His wisdom and words will help us pick our lifeless parenting bodies off the floor and go another round. We still have time left to make a comeback in this parenting game. Get yourself pumped up! - Focus on the good.
Even when we’re getting flagged and sacked every play. Get back up and remember that in the end; you’ll look back and only remember the things you miss most about your kids. The struggles will be a distant memory. The game doesn’t last long, even though it feels like its never going to end.
So Hug your kids. Kiss them goodnight and remember tomorrow is a new day with new struggles but God is in your corner cheering you on so you can win this game called parenting. Let’s Go Team!
“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
Ephesians 5:1-2 NLT
