You’re Not Broken

Kids are good for many things………They can make us laugh, make us cry, drive us crazy and love us so much that our hearts want to explode. But sometimes they say things that can hurt us deeply without realizing it. They have a great way of exposing the things we hope no one notices; The things we are most insecure about.

I had to have a c-section with both my girls because as my husband would say he “doesn’t make small babies”. They were both larger than my body could handle in childbirth. I had a really hard time dealing with the fact that I was never going to experience true childbirth.

After I had my first c-section, I started seeing articles that were Mom shaming women who have had c-sections and It began to make me feel less than. Like I had failed as a mother because I couldn’t have my girls the way God had intended me to.

I felt Broken.

“The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time. For the Lord protects the bones of the righteous; not one of them is broken!” – ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:19-20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I was taking a shower with my toddler the other day and she says to me “mommy, your belly is big!” (Here’s one of those moments where our kids point out the things we’re most insecure about) I told her, “Well, it’s because I had you wonderful girls. You see this scar right here?  That is where they cut mommy open so I could have you and your sister.” She looked very concerned for a bit, but then she looked up at me and asked, “Are you broken?”

Now this was a pretty innocent question from my 3 year old, but to me it became a very complex question. A question that opened a whole lot of other questions and thoughts. The question really burdened my heart and I couldn’t really figure out why. Because when she asked me, it didn’t sadden me or hurt me. It was just a question. But I feel like God wanted me to find something in that question.

I prayed and prayed for God to reveal the purpose of the burden.  The more I prayed about it, the more God began to reveal the power that pure brokenness can have on our lives. It wasn’t just about my external scar or a simple question about being broken. It was about overcoming the everyday brokenness we carry with us.

Even though we may be physically healed, our inside wounds may be far from it.

Those outside wounds heal a lot faster than the emotional scars that are left behind. Depression, anxiety, worry, fear…….These are some emotional wounds that are harder to heal from because it is easy to hide those. We can shut off our emotions to others. Distance ourselves from the ones we care about to avoid those hard questions we don’t want to answer.

We can try to conceal those scars like makeup on a blemish. Cover them up, and pretend that if they don’t exist they’ll just go away on their own. But eventually, the makeup begins to fade and those scars and hurt begin to show themselves and because we didn’t address it earlier the scar is too large to hide and is far worse than it was in the beginning.

“Is anyone crying for help? GOD is listening, ready to rescue you. If your heart is broken, you’ll find GOD right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” -‭‭Psalm‬ ‭34:17-18‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Every one of us has gone through some sort of brokenness in our lives. Something that cuts us deep, but God wants to deliver you from it. He wants to make beauty from your ashes. He wants to take your pain, turn it around and create a masterpiece that you can’t wait to show to everyone.

We can see our scars as things that label us as unusable, not worthy……or we can choose to see them the way God does………as character pieces to his puzzle. Those pieces that are the most important to the whole picture. The ones that are vibrant and intricate in detail and tell the best part of the story. That little piece will show others triumph and victory. He is able to take our broken stories and bring life into them.

Our stories have a purpose. A reason.

We just have to press in to God for him to reveal that purpose of the brokenness.

“He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and assigns each a name. Our Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does. GOD puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.” – ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭147:2-6‬ ‭MSG‬‬